I missed the MTV Music Awards, but the internet told me that Miley released a new album as she was on stage hosting the show. My co-worker, Ben, insisted that I listen to her new psychedelic tracks, but gave me no warning about what my eyes would encounter upon viewing the “Dooo It!” video. Two hours later, I am unable to wipe the disgust off my my face. I’m mortified. I’m petrified. And I’m less than happy.
After watching, I challenged my remaining coworkers to endure the video. If I was blinded, I thought they should be, too. Danielle said she made it through the first 42 seconds. It’s a miracle she even survived that. (Please, let me know if you do.)
Through my waves of anger, I became hysterical. The whole concept of the video was a bad idea, but who wouldn’t have wanted to be in the pitch meeting? “Alright Miley, in this scene you will have some glitter goo in your mouth, you will spit it out and then we will reverse it on tape. Kids will love this shit!”
Unfortunately, the “Dooo It!” music video ruined the entire Miley album for me. While I don’t mind most of the tracks, all I can picture is a mouth full of goo (and less than perfect teeth) showing me more than I’ll want to see of anyone.
For the love of all things that cannot be unseen, here are four reasons why you should never waste your time with the video above (just don’t):
1. She looks like she has acne medication all over her face.
That shit is serious. I used Proactive for most of my middle and high school career. In my life, those white spots covered (and treated) the pimples that caused so much insecurity. Suddenly Miley thinks it’s funny to look like an acne Dalmatian just for fun? What is that?
She isn’t Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg never had a Disney career. He never starred in a romantic Nicholas Sparks screenplay aimed at teens. Snoop Dogg has never been a role model for younger kids. Miley was… and still is for many.
3. The liquids on her face are offensive.
It feels like a porn scene—one where women are degraded, involuntarily catching bodily fluids on their face. The glitter goo and milky white substance is so unnecessary (and the main reason why I’m still cringing).
“Why don’t you put your d%# in the p*&%y, f*** you!” Really? What is anyone gaining from that? Great news is, the rest of the album’s lyrics are just as terrifying.
I support your feminism and the right to be whoever you want, but no matter what that means, I don’t/won’t support this video. It’s disgusting. I think I’ve officially lost whatever respect I had for the former you, Miley. You’ve gone off the deep end man. It’s more than just trying to gain media buzz at this point. I’m wondering if you’ve lost your mind and, even more importantly, your dignity.
Featured photo via mileycyrus.com