How Long Is Your Schlong?

After what seems like eternity, researchers can finally tell us whose penis is too big, whose is too small, and which little guy is juuuuuust right. Are you wondering if your cock is shorter than the flock? You want to know, but you’re afraid to measure. What if you don’t size up? Here’s my dick, just measure it quick.

Studies say the average long for the dong is a 5.2-inch hard on. Flaccid rolls out at a floppy 3.6 inches. Let’s not forget about girth. The average circumference of the ole broom womb comes crashing in at 3.7 inches, soft. A meaty 4.6 inches describes the baloney pony fully erect.

You might not be Katniss, but the odds are ever in your favor. Researchers say, “Have no fear.” Most of those clam hammers are within the norm. And you know what? If you don’t size up, wear that baggage with confidence. Tell your more ‘masculine’ friends, “Don’t be a prick, I like my dick!”

Penis Talk

Penis talk is a serious matter. All this fear about the norm size stems from our lack of knowledge.

When it comes to condom sizes, which state is the biggest? The Dakotas wear their XL penis hat with pride. Maybe we should all be corn fed? Just don’t let the river take your skin boat too far south of tuna town (geographically) for a good time, because rumor has it, good ole Mississippi doesn’t buy ‘em very big.

Speaking of size, Steve Harvey didn’t see it coming when he asked which body part his contestant would change on her husband. Looks like the Family Feud was her husband’s “inadequate” junk.

[gdlr_video url=”https://youtu.be/M79dJgMBFh4″ ]

Nevertheless, all this talk about the states seems like foreplay, when you set your eyes on Nigeria. Who knew excessive scrotum size could cause divorce? Bet she’d be willing to hot swap for a smaller hard drive.

In light of all penises, Princess Sophia wishes you a hard day’s night.

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