Think Your Job Sucks? It Does

If you hate your job, stop reading. This could be tortuous.

Yesterday, Google posted yet another job opening for the role of a Doodler (a title formerly known as Product Graphic Designer/Illustrator). You know what this lucky applicant will do? Design the cool new Google logos you see on the home page for all the holidays, birthdays, and special occasions of the year. #jelly

The description reads, “From Jules Verne to Pac-Man, you have the reins to our brand and iconic logo and can run free with your innovative ideas. Go forth and doodle!”

Celebrating the 200th anniversary of the Brothers Grimm.
An ode to Frank Zamboni’s birth.


In memory of graphic artist Will Eisner.

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Celebrating 71 years of the Wizard of Oz (2010) by Mike Dutton.

You may have heard that Google is a killer place to work. Well, it’s true. The new Doodler can expect an array of new benefits (and that means more than just your typical health care).These are just some of the perks that make Google employees so happy:

  • Not only are mothers entitled to 22 weeks maternity leave, fathers are now also offered seven to 12 weeks of paid paternity leave.
  • Google provides onsite doctors, haircutters, and gourmet cafeteria food (which ideally doesn’t make you wait more than four minutes for your meal).
  • Death benefits are one of Google’s more recent additions, which offer the spouse 50 percent of the deceased employee’s paycheck for ten years (with no tenure requirement).
  • Employees are offered free rides to and from work at the Mountain View campus.
  • There is no need to get flustered with computer problems; Google has 24/7 tech support. (I guess that should be expected).
  • Googlers are free to bring their pets to work. Now Fido can be your lap dog everyday.
  • Massage credits are given for a job well done on projects, to be used for a free one hour massage on campus. (Hint, hint boss).
  • Many locations offer scooters for employees to wheel around the office. It’s like your childhood all over again.
  • Google offers up to three months unpaid leave for you to follow your dreams (think: European backpacking trip or hiding out at an ashram for three months of yoga and meditation.)


In the words of Google, go forth and doodle… and if you can’t, well, I’m not sure what you should do.

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